Posts by Ray Skyhorse

8

Never stop trying to get them out

by Free2Bme in

jw
friends

i know there are people on this board who despite earnest efforts to reach the hearts of friends or family still in the wt org feel they have to give up or that they are flogging a dead horse.. someone very close to me is preparing herself to leave.

her heart has already left.

she finally sees the true colours of the organisation she has faithfully followed for over 30 years.. but it has not been easy or swift.

Ray Skyhorse

Dear Free2bme,

Thanks for sharing that very personal post. I need to read stories like yours to keep me going. My wife has been in the Borg since 1989. I hope to get her out some day. I'd like to hear more about the techniques you used to get her out. Maybe you can share some of your experiences in more detail when you have the time. I need to learn how to plant seeds of doubt.

I don't think you are destroying her dream; you are awakening her from a nightmare. When people wake up from nightmares they are sometimes a bit disoriented. I think you can help her by letting reassuring her that you have unconditional love for her. Also, get her busy doing something that she's always wanted to do, but could never find the time for. Maybe she has wanted to take an art class or learn a musical instrument or something like that. It will focus her energies on something positive. It will also expose her to people that have similiar interests as she does. Hopefully, she'll make some new friends there. She's going to need a social network to give her emotional support. Here is a good place but she needs to make some face to face connections as well.

Wishing you both the best,

Peace,
Ray Skyhorse

12

This is for those of you who asked for my exp...

by MrMoe 2 in

it's long, so take a deep breath!.

ok, this is for those of you who wanted my life experience as a jw, so here goes.. i was born to a beautiful woman/mother who was abandoned by my biological father.

my mother was raised as a jw and left in her teen years and turned to the baptist church as an adult.

Ray Skyhorse

Mr. Moe,

Thanks for sharing your life story. You've had a very difficult life. I think I would have crashed and burned if I were in your shoes. I'm glad you're a survivor.

Peace,
Ray Skyhorse

40

Hi Again

by tattoogrl333 in

jw
friends

well the elders do not accept me.

i do not fit the mold and nor will i change too.

they asked for a book for me to see the questions answered for baptisim but they wouldn't give it to me because they have to decide if i can join???

Ray Skyhorse

Dear Tat,

Welcome back! I'm glad that you didn't succumb to the destructive mind control techniques of the Watchtower. You may still not realize it, but they are a cult.

I hope one of the things you do at this point is to channel the energy you are using on negative emotions into a more creative outlet. Don't waste your energy on them. Find things that you like to do. I know you are a very creative person. Take an art class.
Meet other open minded people.

I once took a ceramics class that taught Native American pottery. In the class, we would make pots and then on weekends we would go to the beach and camp out together. We would all fire our pots in a big bonfire together. It was such a blast for me. Many of the people I met were like soulmates to me. We all had the same creative energy and we liked to express it in a similar fashion.

I think you can make connections like these.

Peace,

Ray Skyhorse

45

what job could you have had?

by sleepy in

jw
friends

hi i've just come home from cleaning windows.what an absolutely soul destroying job.. when i think of the things i could have done.. i remmember how my teachers in school used to tell me i would surely go to university and get a good job.i remmember the shock on one teachers face a few years after i left school when i told her i was a window cleaner.. i was also intrested in art and quite good at it.my grandfather who wasn't a witness offered to help me and my brother get good jobs in the art world.. we turned him down.. arrmegeddon was so soon.. anyone else like me ?.

what do you do and what could you have done?

Ray Skyhorse

Sleepy,

I'm sorry that you were in a cult and that they were a destructive force in your life.

Now that you are out of this cult, you need to develop your career if that is what you really want do.

I remember reading a Dear Abbey column about a person who was complaining to her about the bad choices in life he had made and that he thought that he was too old to go back to school. She basically told him that he is going to age at the same rate whether he is digging a ditch or going to school. You can't escape the march of time.

The point is, you might as well start doing those things in life that you want to do because you are going to get older whether you are in a career that you love or a career that you hate.

I wish you well.

Peace,
Ray Skyhorse

8

Watchtower Website to Report Child Molestations

by Ray Skyhorse in

ive been reading a lot on the issue of child molestion and the watchtower society.

ive read some things about the borg settling cases out-of-court but i havent heard many details.. does anyone know if the watchtower has agreed to any terms for settling a case that involve non-monetary terms?

for example, today i read in the l.a. daily journal about the catholic church settling a case that involved these terms:.

Ray Skyhorse

I’ve been reading a lot on the issue of child molestion and the Watchtower Society. I’ve read some things about the Borg settling cases out-of-court but I haven’t heard many details.

Does anyone know if the Watchtower has agreed to any terms for settling a case that involve non-monetary terms? For example, today I read in the L.A. Daily Journal about the Catholic Church settling a case that involved these terms:

1) The priest must give up his collar

2) The archdiocese must institute a toll-free number and a Web site for victims to report molestations.

3) The archdiocese must start a victims' assistance program and place a green page in employees' files, signaling that any "sensitive" information on that employee is in another file. (During discovery, the plaintiff's attorneys discovered two sets of files: a clean set and a set that noted molestation allegations.)

4) If officials determine that a priest has molested a child, that priest may never again live or work in an environment with children.

5) Each diocese must issue letters of apology to the plaintiff and other victims.

(This story can be found in the LA Times http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-082101priest.story )

I would love to see the Watchtower do #2 and #5, in particular. I think the Borg needs to put up a Website to not only help report molestations but to act as an archive and as a memorial to all of those who have been harmed by them. It should be a site that the JW sponsors so that it would not be considered apostate. In fact, I think that they should be forced to advertise its existence.

I hope a victim forces them into terms such as these. IMHO, money just isn’t enough to cover the pain.

Peace,

Ray Skyhorse

Largest Pretrial Settlement for Abuse Case

by Ray Skyhorse in

jw
friends

the los angeles daily journal today reports that the archdioceses of los angeles and orange counties have agreed to pay $5.2 milllion to a man who alleged that he was sexually molested by a priest.

the daily journal quotes the plaintiff's attorney who states that the settlement is the largest pretrial settlement in the country for a molestation allegations against a priest.. while these child abuse cases are unfortunately all too common for the church, i thought that the terms of the settlement are well worth noting:.

1) the priest must give up his collar.

Ray Skyhorse

The Los Angeles Daily Journal today reports that the archdioceses of Los Angeles and Orange counties have agreed to pay $5.2 milllion to a man who alleged that he was sexually molested by a priest. The Daily Journal quotes the plaintiff's attorney who states that the settlement is the largest pretrial settlement in the country for a molestation allegations against a priest.

While these child abuse cases are unfortunately all too common for the church, I thought that the terms of the settlement are well worth noting:

1) The priest must give up his collar

2) The archdiocese must institute a toll-free number and a Web site for victims to report molestations

3) The archdiocese must start a victims' assistance program and place a green page in employees' files, signaling that any "sensitive" information on that employee is in another file. (During discovery, the plaintiff's attorneys discovered two sets of files: a clean set and a set that noted molestation allegations.)

4) If officials determine that a priest has molested a child, that priest may never again live or work in an environment with children.
5) Each diocese must issue letters of apology to the plaintiff and other victims.

The case name is Marcus Ryan DiMaria v. The Roman Cotholic Bishop of Orange - Orange County Superior Court Case #786901

27

the week from hell...I need input please!

by jonjonsimons in

jw
friends

i just found out my best friend died this morning.

i'm not looking for sympathy, i just need some input.

we were very close and worked together volunteering for the aids foundation here in my hometown.

Ray Skyhorse

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. I'm sorry that you've lost so many loved ones the this insidious disease.

We all deal with death in our very own, personal ways. I can't tell you how to mourn. Some people need to be alone. Others need to be around friends & family. You need to ask yourself what you need to do to heal your hurt.

Did you make the promise to him a moment of emotional distress? If you were not in a rational state of mind when you made the promise to him, you should consider the promise voidable. If you were in a calm, rational state when you made the promise, you should keep it.

I know that I would feel honor bound to the promise I had made to my friend, even if he were dead, but that's just me. I tend to be a very loyal person. If I had made that promise to a friend, I would think about holding a private ceremony somewhere either by myself or with a few close friends. I would go to that place that was special to him and hold the ceremony there in honor of your everlasting friendship.

May you find peace,
Ray

...they say that he got crazy once
and he tried to touch the Sun
and he lost a friend
but kept his memory ....John Denver

16

new to board

by Pablo Picasso in

hello, this is my first post to this board.

i'm a married 24 year old male, i've been married for 2 1/2 years.

my wife and i are in the process of trying to get out of the wts, presently we live on the east coast of the us, but are planning to move to the west coast in 6 months.

Ray Skyhorse

Welcome to the Board, Pablo Picasso (I like you username). You can find a lot of information on this board and you can meet some very supportive people here as well (beware--there's also some jerks here). I was never part of the Borg Collective. I come here to learn more about the Borg and for the emotional support. I'm currently trying to get my wife out. It's not an easy process but in time I think I will prevail. You can read my story in this section entitled "How I Married a Borg". I'm looking forward to reading your posts. I'd like to hear more about how your initial doubts about the Borg developed. Who had doubts first, you or your wife?

Sincerely,
Ray

11

How I Married A Borg

by Ray Skyhorse in

ive been posting for about a month now.

ive finally finished writing about my life.

its long and complicated.

Ray Skyhorse

Hi Jurs,

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer. (I noticed you were in chat today but you left just as I entered.)

I wanted to share with you my strategy for getting my wife out of the Borg. It's a work in progress.

a) Show her how much I love her in little ways. I think love is a strong weapon against the Borg. I'm starting to do this immediately. Sometimes its easy to take a spouse for granted. I need to show her how special she is to me.

b) Put up a web page with some family photos. My wife has been following the Borg mindset and is trying to stay off the Web. I think by putting up a website for our family I could get her to use the Internet more. Maybe at some point her curiosity will lead her here. We have a computer at home but she doesn't use it.

c) I need to distract her so that she misses more meetings. I think fun things would be good. Maybe I should start going to see movies on nights she goes to her meetings. Maybe she'll feel "left out" and skip a few meetings. Other ideas to distract her????

d) Subtley attack the Borgs policies, using their own literature against them. I'm going to start doing this after I finish reading Hassan's book. I want to better prepare myself before I start. I am going to follow your suggestion about reading in bed. She leaves her JW materials on the nightstand and I think I could casually start reading them and asking her questions about them. I'll try the passage you suggest.

One thing that I think is working in my favor is the amount of time she's been in the Borg (12 years). At first, I thought that longer someone is in a cult the harder it would be to get them out. However, according to Hassan, one of the "good" things about a person being in a cult for awhile is that they have had time to see all the hypocrisy and prophesies that fail to come true.

Thanks for giving me the pointers, Coach Jurs. I'll keep you all informed as time goes on.

Peace,
Ray

13

falling in love

by kid B in

ok, heres my story.... i am 21 years old, male, and i am not a j.w., but i have hopelessly fallen in love with one.

unfortuntately, i do not believe what she believes in (i use the word unfortuntately because i wish i could believe, but i cant and it tears me apart).

i'm sure that this has happened a million times before, and you guys probably hear about it a lot, but i'm finding it very difficult to deal with, since she has also fallen deeply in love with me, but she feels like the only option is to let it go.

Ray Skyhorse

Hello Kid B, welcome to the board. I can feel your pain because I've been there myself.

You've come to a place where you can find out a lot of info from ex-JWs. They can tell you what it was like growing up in the Borg and what the JW religion is all about. I think you are wise to be finding out information about JWs. I think it will help you heal your wounds.

I was never a JW. I knew my wife before she became a JW. We struggled quite a bit over our differences once she became a JW. I recently posted my story in this section called "How I Married a Borg". I suggest you read it when you get a chance. It will make you realize how difficult it is to have a relationship with a JW.

Don't lament the fact that you have trouble believing their doctrines. In my opinion and in the opinion of many cult experts, the JW is a cult. Their doctrines are illogical. Do a search on the word "cult" in this forum to read more about how they use mind control techniques.

You didn't mention if your girlfriend was raised in the Borg or if she joined later in life. I think people sometimes join the Borg if there was something missing in their lives. I think my wife joined because she was the victim of child abuse and found the "structure" of JW organization to be appealing.

I hope you find peace in your life. I encourage you to read all you can about them; I think it will heal your broken heart.

Damn the Borg to Hell!